August 4, 2016


Who am I to say that your love for me is deep?
I am no one. I know nothing lately. 
All I know is that the moon is full and the stars are bright. 
but my eyes are dull and my heart lies empty. 

And I've knocked at the door of my soul
and yet no one answers
And I know it's there it's just hidden under blankets of shame. of shame. 
And if given the chance of an empty landscape 
and a field with no witnesses
it will scream and cry and speak volumes 
in the language of just your name. 

I don't know if it is angry most
or just so very hurt 
that the words that loved it
were the words that dropped it. and it fell so far down. 
that I don't think it will ever be enticed 
to crawl out from the dark pit
and to find it safe enough to trust
anything above this cold hard ground. 

I fell asleep and dreamt that I 
was loved utterly and completely 
and that amongst highs and lows
was a constant state of loyalty;
then a cold wind blew
and night changed everything 
and between ebbs and flows
I awoke to the nightmare of reality. 

And what had been left of a broken heart
was crushed in the palm of fragility
until the pieces felt like sands of the sea
and before I could even remember 
what it felt like to be in a facade of love,
the fierce winds blew them so far away from me. 

Go free dear grains of sand!
I am no longer your dwelling place. 
I am not warm enough nor inviting any more. 
it seems even you have found unfit
this empty shell with blank space that feels 
as if it was never full and alive before.